So Much Uncertain
by Lala Kate
Summary: A meeting, a conversation, and a decision that changes everything. Season ? One-shot.


_Inspired by a prompt tossed at my by **queenlovett**, which I shall reveal at the end. I do hope you enjoy!_

* * *

She waits, knowing he will seek her out, staring through glass upon grounds that have surrounded her since she could remember. She knows them well, each tree familiar, the grass silently summoning weary feet to journey out for a walk. Yet she is frozen to this window, a conversation already overdue taking precedence over every other facet of her life. And no matter how it plays out, she is profoundly aware of one fact.

Everything she knows will change.

She then senses his presence in the room, swallowing down the urge to turn in his direction as her eyes remain fixed upon the shrubbery. _One, two, three…_ She counts wordlessly, gathering warring thoughts as she summons the courage necessary to speak what must be voiced.

"Mary?"

His voice pricks a shiver down her spine, memories of their last encounter flooding her mind. Eyes seal shut, blocking out distractions, biting back anxiety just before she turns to face him.

"Carson said you wanted to see me."

There he stands. Her hands begin to tremble.

"Perhaps you should close the door."

The sincere confusion in his eyes is evident, bearing the unmistakable remembrance that their last conversation had ended on a less than friendly note. Yet he honors her request, the click of the door a resolute reminder that there is no going back.

"Thank you for coming. I'm sorry if my message caused you any confusion."

He dares a few steps in her direction, warily testing the waters before plunging ahead. Her pulse responds immediately, heat flushing her neck and face in betrayal of her wishes. His very presence makes her react, pushing her mind and body to behave in manner quite divorced from reason.

It was that very response that brought about the need for this meeting.

"Is everything alright?"

She inhales slowly, deliberately raising her brows and the corners of her mouth.

"I am well, if that's what you mean."

He smiles, the gesture piercing her chest.

"I'm glad. So very glad. I have missed you."

He hesitates, the moves closer, trying to gage her emotions in a manner that makes her slightly uncomfortable. He reads her well, sees too much.

"Mary, I know that things were not left well between us—"

She cuts him off with a raised palm and a slight shake of her head, willing her own feet to move towards him as his nearness begins to overtake her.

"Please. No apologies. Not now."

He nods slowly, his brow creased in confusion.

"What is it, Mary? Why did you ask me to come?"

Her palms clench of their own accord, the moisture gathering there a testament to her nerves.

"Perhaps you would like to sit down first."

She notices a slight flinch in his expression.

"Do I need to sit down?"

She drops her eyes to the carpet, her cheeks flushing slightly.

"That is entirely up to you."

He finds a small sofa and stands in front of it, clearly waiting for her to join him. She drinks in a full breath before walking to him with a measured stride, torn between having this conversation finally finished and fleeing the room.

She descends slowly, knowing him to be too close already as her body warms instantly to his proximity. How does he do this, unravel her self-control as if she were no more sophisticated than a debutante? His eyes betray his own weakness, and it is a bit of a relief to know that she can still affect him so powerfully. She has allowed herself to doubt during silent weeks of separation.

"Will you tell me now what this is about? Please."

She tastes her bottom lip as fidgety teeth nip it, an unfortunate habit from childhood one boorishly strict nanny tried to break her of with little success.

"I suppose there is no use in putting it off, is there?"

His eyes bore gently into hers.

"I sincerely doubt it."

The moment of truth is upon her, pulsing even into her bones. She has no choice, no doubts on what must be done, yet the sensation of balancing precariously upon the edge of a cliff is overpowering.

"The fact is that I'm pregnant with your baby."

His eyes close as his exhale wafts across her hands. She wonders if he half-expected this outcome after what occurred eight weeks ago.

"I see."

She feels momentarily disconnected from her body, watching this scene play out before her as if in slow-motion. Then a surge of restlessness overtakes her, desperate legs pushing her to her feet in an unspoken need to pace.

"Does anyone else know?"

She turns to him quickly, noting that he is now standing, as well.

"Only Dr. Clarkson for certain, but I do believe that Mama suspects."

He nods in silence, walking towards her. His hand tenderly collects hers, her breath catching in response to the contact.

"How are you feeling? Truly?"

His concern needles its way under her skin.

"I think I'm now over the worst, actually, although some mornings are still rather horrid."

He studies her closely, making her drop her eyes.

"My offer from before still stands, you know."

She raises her gaze to lock with his.

"Even after all that was said?"

It is now his turn to look uncomfortable.

"I should have never walked away from you. Forgive me."

Her pulse throbs behind her eyes.

"I told you already—no apologies."

She turns and walks back to the window, needing to view a bit of sky to steady emotions on the brink of smothering her.

"I know these are far from ideal circumstances, but you had to know."

His feet pad softly across the rug until they stop directly behind her, his breath caressing her neck, gently urging her to close her eyes. Large hands encircle her body, not just her own any more she understands, coming to rest haltingly upon the cradle that now carries a piece of him. Somehow this touch feels more intimate that those they shared in a fit of passion, the sensation of his fingers stroking her abdomen more personal than when they had discovered private places in the dark.

"Ideal or not, we shall make this work, Mary. I give you my word."

Her head falls back to rest upon his shoulder and cheek.

"I do want it to work. For all of us."

Lips then feather across her cheekbone, his embrace morphing into a possessive stance of protection.

"So do I. With all of my heart."

They stand in silence, the strangeness of this courtship that had never truly existed now sealed with the bond of a child.

"So will you marry me?"

The words were breathed into her ear, coercing her to turn her face to his own so he can read the truth in her expression.

"Yes."

She turns in his arms, gazing at him with rounded eyes as his lips softly seek hers almost chastely. They paint the promise of a future upon her mouth, one suddenly so full yet uncertain. She clasps his arms with trembling fingers, allowing herself to believe in what can be even as she fears what still must be faced. But they will do it together, at least, regardless of how unideal the situation.

And for now, it is enough.

* * *

_Prompt: "I am pregnant with your baby." _

Any thoughts as to who is the father? ;)


End file.
